SCARRIE the Musical - 2005 Press Release

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Hell in a Handbag Productions, who brought you POSEIDON! An Upside Down Musical and Rudolph, The Red-Hosed Reindeer, is proud to present:

SCARRIE – The Musical*, an unauthorized musical parodage** of the classic 70’s horror film Carrie, the tale of a high school misfit, who raises telekinetic hell when pushed too far by her peers and religious fanatical mother. This new musical by David Cerda features a rockin’ original 1970’s influenced score and lots of pigs’ blood.

“This story just resonates with me. It’s the ultimate revenge fantasy. I also truly LOVE the film… Sissy Spacek is the embodiment of what I and so many others I know felt like on the inside - she’s just wonderful, as is Betty Buckley and of course the magnificent Piper Laurie. The film is just ripe for parody”

~David Cerda, playwright/composer.

SCARRIE – The Musical opens Saturday, July 2 (previews July 1) and runs through Sunday, August 7, 2005. Performances are Thurs-Sat 7:30 PM and Sun 2:30 PM at Theatre Building Chicago, 1225 W. Belmont. Tickets are $25.00 and are available by calling the Theatre Building Chicago Box Office at 773.327.5252. Group sales are also available by calling 312.409.4357.

Handbag’s production features Joey Steakley as the high school outcast Carrie White and ensemble member Ed Jones as her histrionic God fearing mother. Trista Smith will play Miss Collins, the tough but caring gym teacher with Robyn Senchak and ensemble member Tim Howard as the devious Chris Hargenson and Billy Nolan. Veronica Sheaffer plays the well meaning Sue Snell, and Ryan Lanning is Sue’s boyfriend the All-American, golden curled Tommy Ross.

The cast also includes ensemble member Merrie Greenfield as well as Rachael Kay Albers, Trish Austin, Jaya Subramanian, Kyra Lewandowski, Kevin Simmons, Adam Cook, Michael Kingston and James Bould.

Special guest star appearances are also scheduled throughout the run and include Curt Columbus and Erica Daniels (Steppenwolf), Jim Bennett (Windy City Radio, GayCo), Jinx Titanic (Jinx Titanic band), Vicki Quade (Late Nite Catechism) and many more!

The production team includes David Cerda, book, lyrics & music; Taylor Ross and Scott Lamberty, music; Margot Bordelon (Steppenwolf, Seattle Rep.), director & dramaturg; Bobbie Bagby (Marriott Lincolnshire, Apple Tree), choreographer; John Mercado, vocal director; Rob Steel, sound; Doug MacDonald, lighting; Matt Kollar, scenic; Bill Morey, costumes; Ludwig, wigs; John Buranosky, properties; Mike Miller, graphic designer; Jackie Anderson, executive producer.

SCARRIE – The Musical History
The first incarnation of SCARRIE - The Musical was the late night show, sCarrie! The Musical produced by Sweetback Productions and directed by Kelly Anchors and Mike McKune (book, lyrics & music by David Cerda with additional musical arrangements by Scott Lamberty). The show opened at the Sweetcorn Playhouse (now a pricey condominium complex) in lovely Andersonville in August of 1998 and ran late night for a year and a half with Steve Hickson as the original Miss Collins, managing the run of the show and assuming responsibilities far beyond your average gym teacher.

David Cerda (book, music & lyrics) is the Artistic Director for HIAH Productions and has written and appeared in Rudolph, the Red-Hosed Reindeer, How ‘Whatever Happened to Baby Jane’ Happened, and POSEIDON! An Upside Down Musical (New York International Fringe Festival-Best Ensemble Award and most attended show). In his tenure as Co-Artistic Director of Sweetback Productions he wrote and appeared in The Birds (co-written w/Pauline Pang), Joan Crawford Goes to Hell!, the Jacqueline Susann monologues in Jacqueline Susann’s Valley of the Dolls, Touched by Jayne Mansfield, Queen of the Roundup (Lyrics and Music) and the original late night Carrie parody, sCarrie! The Musical. Cerda’s plays have also been produced in Baltimore, NYC, and Omaha, yes, Omaha. David was most recently seen as Miss Fern in Corn Production’s Tiff and Mom and The Bad Seed, the New Town Writers Solo Homo 3 and various Feast of Fools shows as an egomaniac who thinks he’s Joan Crawford.

Margot Bordelon (director & dramaturg) is a recent transplant from Seattle where she attended Cornish College of the Arts and co-founded Double Shot Productions, a company focused on producing highly stylized physical comedy. For Double Shot she directed Charles Busch’s Psycho Beach Party, and two original pieces which she authored: Call in the Family and Mystery at Camp Chestnut. She spent the 2002-2003 season at the Seattle Repertory Theatre assistant directing Copenhagen, Sugar Plum Fairy, Boy Gets Girl, and Things Being What They Are. Other credits include Ball, All the Rage and The Swimming Pool Landscape to name a few. In May, she will complete a nine month artistic apprenticeship with Steppenwolf Theatre Company.



* An Unauthorized Musical Parodage**
** Parody and Homage

Photo credit: Rick Aguilar and Michael Miller.

SCARRIE the Musical - Reviews

Windy City Times

Chicago Tribune

SCARRIE - Cast & Crew

Photo credits: Rick Aguilar and Michael Miller

Here's the cast and crew list from the 2005 "Hell in a Handbag" production of the show:

CAST

Carrie White	Joey Steakley
Margaret White	Ed Jones
Miss Collins	Trista Smith
Sue Snell	Veronica Sheaffer
Tommy Ross	Ryan Lanning
Chris Hargensen	Robyn Senchak
Billy Nolan	Tim Howard
Norma Watson	Rachel Kay Albers
Candy Burns	Kyra Lewandowski
Diana Goins	Patricia Austin
Debbie Vahashapetilon	Jaya Subramanian
Steve	Kevin Simmons
Scooter	Adam Cook
Principal Morton	Michael Kingston
Mrs. Snell	Merrie Greenfield
Mr. Shiplace	James Bould

CREW

Jackie Anderson	Executive Producer
Margot Bordelon	Director
David Cerda	Book & Lyrics
David Cerda, Scott Lamberty & Taylor E. Ross	Music
Serena Carvajal	Stage Manager
Bobbie Bagby	Choreographer
Jonathan Mercado	Vocal Director
Nick Sandys	Violence Director
Matthew Kollar	Scenic Designer
BillMorey	Costume Designer
Doug MacDonald	Lighting Designer
John E. Buranosky	Prop Designer
Robert Steel	Sound Designer
Ludwig	Wig Mistress
Michael S. Miller	Art Director/Graphic Designer
Adam Cook	Marketing
Arielle Augustyn	Marketing Assistant/Special Events
Rick Aguilar	Photographer
Erik Santoro	Assistant Stage Manager
Anthony Paoletti	Backstage Crew
Kyle Hanson	Backstage Crew
Rory Murphy	Sound Board Operator
Veena Jones-Wright	Spotlight Operator

SCARRIE the Musical - Soundtrack

Recorded in early July of 2005, the original cast recording of SCARRIE THE MUSICAL is available for purchase from Hell in Handbag's website. The album includes all of the songs from the second staging of the show, along with a few clips of dialog. Since it's in print, I'm not offering downloads, like you'll find for some other albums here on the site, though there's several previews on Handbag's page and you can listen to a few tracks below. If you're a fan of the original film (or even the ill-fated Broadway musical), this loving, rockin' homage is well worth the $15 investment!

Here's a few highlights from the album:

Chicago Tribune Review of Scarrie

'Scarrie' can't carry its upgraded image By Chris Jones
Tribune arts critic

July 11 2005

In our modern era, it's hard to find a creator of tacky, late-night camp who is perfectly happy just being a creator of tacky, late-night camp. Today's edgy theater folk often are convinced that a major, mainstream musical lies at the heart of silly, pop culture-obsessed, self-referential work.

You can understand the impulse. As one ages, one's tolerance for playing to the drunk and the half-asleep diminishes. And if "Urinetown" could play Broadway, then why not "Scarrie: The Musical"?

But it's time for a few tricky truths. Some shows should remain hour-long, late-night escapades. And when your show is a camp bit of homage to the Brian De Palma celluloid classic (menstruation; high-school bullies; pig's blood; special powers; etc.), you're firmly in that category.

There's nothing wrong with that. When I first saw David Cerda's "Scarrie" in a cramped little storefront in 1998, I thought this was one of the funniest late-night Chicago shows I'd ever seen.

But see this material at the Theatre Building on a sober Sunday afternoon and, well, the atmosphere and the expectations are not quite the same. This "Scarrie" feels overstretched and a tad ill at ease. Flights of comic fancy are interspersed with scenes that don't work. Great gags get squelched by lousy ones.

Overall, you'd have to call "Scarrie" uneven, and that's rather painful to do, because it's potentially a whole lot better.

Cerda never knows when too much is too much, but he's still a major talent. And, indeed, his re-tooled, re-powered, expanded version of "Scarrie" is in many ways an admirable affair. There are more musical numbers than you'd see on Broadway, a huge, endlessly energetic cast of new young faces (some of whom, for instance Ryan Lenning, can sing, some of whom cannot), oodles of very snappy choreography and, as before, much deliciously droll meta-humor at the expense of the horror-flick genre and teen exploitation movies. Cerda's lyrics often are very, very funny. So are some of the sight gags.

There's more good news. Most shows like this fail because they camp up the material and play the joke, instead of the characters' warped truths. You couldn't lay that charge at the door of "Scarrie." The central drag performance — from the deliciously weird Joey Steakley — has more emotional darkness than "Six Feet Under." Steakley — thin, lanky post-adolescent desperation in a clingy dress — is so nervy and good, he's worth the price of admission.

And yet the scenes with Carrie's fundamentalist mother — also a drag character, played by Ed Jones — don't work at all, mainly because they move so unbearably slowly.

If only Hell in a Handbag Productions could cut the weakest half an hour and speed up the rest, "Scarrie" would be a summer classic. Especially if a tacky late-night design and ambience could be added.

Photo: Rick Aguilar and Michael Miller

Chicago Tribune Home

Windy City Times Review of Scarrie

Theater: Scarrie—The Musical
2005-07-13

BY RICK REED

Playwright: David Cerda ( book and lyrics ) ( music: David Cerda, Scott Lamberty and Taylor E. Ross )
At: The Theatre Building
Phone: ( 773 ) 327-5252; $25
Runs through: Aug. 7

You can go to your favorite cineplex and see tired recyclings of old TV shows and movies or you can go to the theater and see an old movie used as a jumping off point for truly inspired work. Case in point: Scarrie—The Musical, a sharp and funny musical “parodage” ( the company calls it a marriage of parody and homage and the hybrid serves as an apt descriptor ) of Brian De Palma’s 1976 film ( itself based on Stephen King’s first novel ) . Scarrie manages to sympathetically embrace the teenage angst the film portrayed so well, when Carrie White, telekinetic teenager, gets pushed to the edge by taunting classmates and her fundamentalist Christian mother. The sympathy is good, because a parody of Carrie walks a dangerous line: it could end up casting the audience in the role of Carrie’s tormentors, being one of the many Carrie’s mother promises “will laugh at you.” But Cerda obviously has a fondness for the film and an even greater fondness and empathy for what it’s like to be a teenage outcast. Cerda also has an unflinching eye for those who seek to torment Carrie, and reflects it back at them with vicious force, akin to Carrie’s ultimate telekinetic wrath. Now that’s funny.

Director Margot Bordelon adroitly never lets the pace flag and the ensemble she has to work with is, for the most part, a dream come true. Ed Jones, as Margaret White, Carrie’s mother, steals the show every time he’s on stage. Imperious and filled with religious zeal, Jones is a worthy successor to the over-the-top performance delivered so well by Piper Laurie in the film ( those with myopia may not even notice a difference between Laurie and Jones ) . As Scarrie, Joey Steakley manages to convey her innocence and outrage perfectly … and even throws in a few touches of his own ( like giving Scarrie a deep, horsy laugh completely at odds with her demure exterior ) that can’t help but make us giggle. Trista Smith brings a Rosie O’Donnell butchness to the Betty Buckley gym teacher role and manages to convey sympathy and inappropriate sexual interest all at once.

The remainder of the cast ( too many to mention ) all acquit themselves admirably, getting the camp style down perfectly, while at the same time proving themselves adept singers and dancers as well ( Bobbie Bagby choreographs ) .

The only bit of casting that didn’t work is the gratuitous use of “guest stars” ( the night of this review the guests were local punk rocker Jinx Titanic and porn star Brad Maguire ) ; these were show-stoppers in the worst sense and added nothing. Minor quibble. The score and lyrics all bubble with pop vibrancy. All in all, this Scarrie is a triumph, a true bit of smart, giddy summer entertainment that will have you giggling to yourself for days afterward … on the train, walking down the street, in the bathroom … until you realize, that, if you don’t stop it, “they’re all gonna laugh at YOU.”

Photo: Rick Aguilar and Michael Miller.

Windy City Times Home

About SCARRIE

SCARRIE was a play that first surfaced in 1998 as the late-night show called sCarrie! The Musical at the Sweetcorn Playhouse in Andersonville, Illinois. Starring a predominantly male cast, it was a campy but loving send-up of the film which was so successful that it ran for a year and a half. Sadly, the Sweetcorn closed, though writer David Cerda moved on...




In 2005, the acclaimed Chicago-based theatre troupe Hell in a Handbag Productions, the mad geniuses behind other cult hits like POSEIDON! An Upside-Down Musical, Rudlph the Red-Hosed Reindeer, and How What Ever Happened to Baby Jane Happened revived the production. Cerda revised some of the songs wrote an additional ten tunes. With Joey Steakley in the title role and Ed Jones as Margaret White, the play previewed on July 1, 2005, opened the following day and ran 22 performances, closing on August 2, 2005 in at The Theatre Building in Chicago. A cast CD was recorded in early July and released shortly after. It's available for purchase from "Handbag"'s website.

For more information about the production, check out Hell in a Handbag's page for SCARRIE.

SCARRIE the Musical - Lyrics

Just to note, these are the songs/lyrics from the Hell in a Handbag version of the play, which is available on CD. The original version at the Sweetcorn Playhouse featured some different songs and lyrics. Once again, I've transcribed these by listening to the album and there are a few places with words that I couldn't decipher (denoted by a triple-question mark). Also, at times, I had to guess who was singing, so I may be off.

All lyrics © David Cerda 2005


ON A CLOUD/HIGH SCHOOL WORLD

GIRLS
We're on a cloud.
Say what you like,
We're the popular crowd.

High school world,
Super foxy girls.
High school world,
Super foxy girls.

Our uniform designer jeans
And flipped-back feathered hair.
Our futures are uncertain,
And quite frankly, we don't care.



I'M CARRIE

CARRIE
Here on my cloud,
Far, far away from the popular crowd,
They look at me with hateful eyes,
With judgment they condemn.
I only wish they'd take the time
To find out who I am.

I'm Carrie, just an ordinary girl.
Please tell me, where's my place in this world?
I can't help it if I'm different than the other girls who wear
Jeans by Sergio Valente and have Farrah Fawcett hair.


I'M DYING/PLUG IT UP

CARRIE
What is happening?
I feel funny!
There's a beating in my head.
This -- this can't be happening!
From inside, I'm bleeding!
Oh God, I'll soon be dead!
I'm dying!
Please help me!
I'm dying!
Please help me!

CHRIS
Oh! What the funk?
What's going on with your freak?

NORMA
Get away from me!

CHRIS
Look Norma, Carrie's got her period!

NORMA
She is a woman!

SUE
Plug it up, Carrie!
Come on girl, plug it up!

CHRIS & GIRLS
Plug it up! Plug it up! Plug it up!
Plug it up! Plug it up! Plug it up!
Plug it up! Plug it up! Plug it up!
Plug it up! Plug it up! Plug it up!
Plug it up! Plug it up! Plug it up!

CARRIE
I'm dying!
Please help me!
I'm dying!
Please help me!
I'm dying!
Please help me!

MISS COLLINS
What's going on here?
What's all the noise?
I can hear you from the hallway,
You're worse than the boys!

SUE
It's Carrie,
She's got her period.
She thinks she's dying,
That's why she's crying.

MISS COLLINS
Carrie, calm down, it's gonna be okay.
Pull yourself together, Carrie, listen to what I say.
Carrie, calm down, it's gonna be okay.
Pull yourself together, Carrie, listen to what I say.
All of you shut up and go away!

CARRIE
No!


THIS IS NO JOKE
(Dialog)

MARGARET WHITE
Knock, knock.

MRS. SNELL
What?

MARGARET
Knock, knock.

MRS. SNELL
Oh! Who's there?

MARGARET
Satan.

MRS. SNELL
Satan, who?

MARGARET
Satan is at your doorstep, Mrs. Snell, and that's no joke. These are Godless times, Mrs. Snell.

MRS SNELL
I'll drink to that!

MARGARET
This is no joke, Mrs. Snell! Our very lives are at stake!


THESE ARE GODLESS TIMES

MARGARET
I'm not trying to alarm, dear,
But your souls at risk at harm here,
Now your bloody Marys won't substitute for prayer.
On the television station
You see women's liberation,
There's an unseen evil floating in the air.

Homosexual parades,
Swingers playing nude charades,
Just a piece of the beginning of the end.
So I respectfully suggest
That you repent your sins, confess,
Or an eternity in Hell the Snells will spend!

These are Godless times!
Take a look outside your window,
See your neighbors acting sinful.
Now the golden calf's a car,
Gomorrah's now a singles bar.

These are Godless times!
Charles Manson, Sharon Tate,
Tricky Dick and Watergate,
Women think that they can choose,
Teenagers on dope and booze.

If you were to drop dead right this minute,
Right this very second, Mrs. Snell,
Would your soul go up to Heaven
Or the fiery depths of Hell?

MRS. SNELL
Uh, I'd like to make a contribution. How about five dollars? Uh, suh, five...

MARGARET
Their Satanic-like behavior,
People disregard our savior,
In the books, movies and music everywhere.
Halter-tops and platform shoes
And the influence of Jews
Family values thrown away in the Mershare.

In conclusion, what I'm sayin',
Stop your drinkin' and start prayin'.
Your fulfillment lies ahead; repent your past.
What I offer is salvation
And a chance for reparation,
And that isn't at the bottom of your glass!

These are Godless times!
Lola Falana, Copacabana,
All-male saunas,
Temptation waits 'round every turn!

These are Godless times!
Diet soda, Mary and Rhoda,
That creepy Yoda,
Don't get too close or you'll get burned!

If you were to drop dead right this minute,
Right this very second, Mrs. Snell,
Would your soul go up to Heaven
Or the fiery depths of Hell?

MRS SNELL
Here! Here's fifty dollars! Take it -- it's all I have!

MARGARET
Oh well. Maybe next dime. Bless you, Mrs. Snell. I wonder if Mrs. Vahatia Petaland's home yet.


I'M CARRIE (REPRISE 1)

CARRIE
They tell me that I'm different,
They treat me like a dog.
That's okay, my Mama says
Backwards, that spells "God."

I wish that I could be like the other girls who wear
Cashmere comet sweaters and dingo boots with flair.
I'm Carrie, just an ordinary girl.
Please tell me, where's my place in this world?
I'm waiting patiently for the answers that I seek,
To find my inner peace and live in harmony.
I'm Carrie, just an ordinary girl.
Please tell me, where's my place in this world?

GIRLS
She's Carrie, she's Carrie, she's Carrie, she's Carrie,
She's Carrie, she's Carrie, she's Carrie, she's Carrie!

SUE
I don't know how it happened, but things got out of hand.
This overwhelming guilt is more than I can stand!
Since elementary school, we all teased Carrie White,
But something in my head says this just isn't right.

Oh, Carrie, what am I supposed to do?
It's quite a dilemma for Sue!
Before it all made sense,
Now I'm sitting on the fence.
To my back, security,
Straight ahead, maturity.
Oh, Carrie, who'd have thought it would be you
Who made me reevaluate this zoo?

GIRLS
She's Carrie, she's Carrie, she's Carrie, she's Carrie
She's Carrie, she's Carrie, she's Carrie, she's Carrie!

CHRIS
She asked for what we give her,
That whiny little freak,
And now she's with Miss Collins,
Defender of the geeks!

I love to tease and taunt her,
And making her life hell.
We should get extra credit
For teaching her quite well!

That Carrie, what an aggravating girl!
She smells and kind of looks just like a squirrel!
I can't stand it when she just stands there like a tree,
And whimpers passively, a walking casualty!
That Carrie, what an aggravating girl!
She doesn't have a place in our world!

GIRLS
She's Carrie, she's Carrie, she's Carrie, she's Carrie
She's Carrie, she's Carrie, she's Carrie, she's Carrie!

CARRIE
I'm Carrie, just an ordinary girl.
Please tell me, where's my place in this world?
I'm waiting patiently for the answers that I seek,
To find my inner peace and live in harmony.
I'm Carrie, just an ordinary girl.
Please tell me, where's my place in this world?

GIRLS
She's Carrie, she's Carrie, she's Carrie, she's Carrie!



SAY IT

MARGARET
And from the rib of Adam, God created Eve...
Say it!
Say it!

CARRIE
And from the rib of Adam, God created Eve.

MARGARET
Eve was tempted by the serpent,
With his words, he did deceive.
Say it!
Say it!

CARRIE
Uh, tempted by the serpent...
Something, something, deceive.

MARGARET
This didn't have to happen,
This little mess you're in.
Loosed the raven on the world
And the raven is called...

CARRIE
Sin! Sin! I'm sorry!

MARGARET
Very good.
Come on in, brothers and sisters!
And Eve was weak!

CHORUS
Eve was weak!

MARGARET
So very weak!

CHORUS
Very weak!

MARGARET
Eve was weak,
The little sneak!

CHORUS
The little sneak!

MARGARET
She surrendered to temptation,
Then God gave us menstruation.
Just one simple aberration
Led to all its divination.
No more paradise vacation,
Eve was weak!
The little sneak!
Say it!

CHORUS
Eve was weak!

MARGARET
Say it!

CHORUS
Very weak!

MARGARET
Yesterday you went to bed a child of the Lord,
This morning you awoke a sinning, filthy wretched whore!
I should have seen the signs of sin,
Loosed the raven on the world.
You've got a devil trapped within!
Lord, please help this foolish girl!
Say it!

CHORUS
Eve was weak!

MARGARET
Pray it!

CHORUS
Very weak!

MARGARET
The curse was a curse of blood!
The curse was a curse of blood!
Throughout the universe
The Lord, he did disperse,
The curse was a curse of blood!

CARRIE
Hello God!

CHORUS
Hello, God!

CARRIE
It's Carrie White,
Hope you remember,
We spoke last night.
I know you're busy
With other stuff.
But could you tell me, why, oh why,
It seems my life is so darned rough?

The girls at school
Think I'm grotesque.
My Mama tells me
I'm possessed.
I don't want special favors
Or things I don't deserve.
I wanna be like other girls
But I don't have the nerve.

MARGARET
And Eve was weak!

CHORUS
Eve was weak!

MARGARET
So very weak!

CHORUS
Very weak!

MARGARET
Eve was weak!
The little sneak!

CHORUS
The little sneak!

MARGARET
For her devilish misdeedings
Are the reasons for your bleeding.
And these three words bear repeating:
Eve was weak and now we're bleeding.
Say it!

CHORUS
Eve was weak!

MARGARET
Pray it!

CHORUS
Very weak!

MARGARET
And Eve was weak!
So very weak!
Eve was weak!
The little sneak!
Get in your closet!


BEAUTIFUL

TOMMY
I see the stars in a moonlit sky,
The ocean blue, and I wonder why
Nobody seems to get along anymore;
They talk of hate, they talk of war.

My little brother, he asked me why,
I looked at him and I wanted to cry.
Said, 'Little man, don't you worry none,
Just go out and play in the sun.'

I hope someday when he's a man
With his son, walking hand-in-hand,
The world will be at peace at last
And war and hate are a thing of the past.

BOY
Ha! Ha! Ha! That was a bag of shit, Ross!

MR SHIPLACE
That is quite incredible,
I'm really quite impressed.
Beneath that jock mentality
A poet lies in rest.
So tell me, class, what do you think....

BOY
It sucks!

MR SHIPLACE
...of Master Tommy's verse?
Let's hear what's on your little minds.
I'm sure that you've heard worse.

CARRIE
I think it's beautiful.

MR SHIPLACE
Is that? Did I hear right?
I thought I heard Miss Carrie White.
I must be hearing things, how can this be?
She's never said a single word to me.
So please say it again!

CARRIE
I think it's beautiful!

CHORUS
Beautiful!

CARRIE
I think it's beautiful

CHORUS
Beautiful!

CARRIE
Like a moonlit night or the ocean blue.
I think it's beautiful!

CHORUS
Beautiful!

CARRIE
I think it's beautiful!

CHORUS
Beautiful!

CARRIE
Don't know why I said it, I just know that it's true.

BOY
She thinks it's beautiful!

CHORUS
Beautiful!
Beautiful!
So beautiful!

CARRIE
I think it's beautiful!

CHORUS
Beautiful!
Beautiful!
So beautiful!
Beautiful!
Beautiful!
So beautiful!

[Bell rings]

MR SHIPLACE
Uh, Tommy! I'd like to speak to you about extra credit.


GONNA MAKE YOU SWEAT

MISS COLLINS
Line up, shut up, straighten up and don't push.
You know why you're here, Candy, lose the brush.
You spit out that gum, you wipe off that smirk,
You've had your fun, now it's time to work!

Gonna make you sweat!
Gonna make you burn!
Gonna break you down!
Gonna make you learn!
Gonna make you feel,
Tear down your defenses,
Maybe then you'd think
About the consequences.

CHRIS
Oh, give me a break!

NORMA
Yeah, really!

MISS COLLINS
Do any of you care about the pain your actions bring?
I want you all to know you've done a really shitty thing!
A really shitty thing!

Right. Now my idea for this little stunt you pulled was three days women's study class and refusal of your prom tickets.

CHRIS
She can't do that!

MISS COLLINS
Then maybe you'd feel as bad as you made Carrie White feel -- and you'd deserve it. But the office has decided to let you off with one week's detention. Still, there's one little catch: It's to be my detention.

NORMA
Lesbian day-camp!

MISS COLLINS
That's fifty minutes, every day, on the playing field, starting today. Get the picture?

GIRLS
Yes, we see.

CHRIS
I'm not coming

MISS COLLINS
Oh, that's up to you, Chris. That's up to all of you. Punishment for skipping detention is three days suspension, refusal of your prom tickets, and a mandatory essay on the music of Joni Mitchell. Yeah! Big, Yellow Taxi. Any other thoughts? Oh good! Detention starts now, ladies. Let's go!

Gonna make you sweat!
Gonna make you burn!
Gonna break you down!
Gonna make you learn!
Gonna make you feel,
Tear down your defenses,
Maybe then you'd think
About the consequences!

CHRIS
Oh, give me a break!

CARRIE
Tapeworm, tarter sauce, taxidermy, televive, telegraph, Telly Savalas... telekinesis! Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Telekinesis But Were Afraid to Ask...

MISS COLLINS
Gonna make you sweat!
Gonna make you burn!
Gonna break you down!
Gonna make you learn!
Gonna make you feel,
Tear down your defenses,
Maybe then you'd think
About the consequences!

CHRIS
Fuck this bullshit;
I'm tired and I'm sore!
Your funky disco torture,
I can't take it no more!

MISS COLLINS
The period's not up yet,
Ten more minutes on the clock!

CHRIS
Just stick 'em up your ass next to your whistle and your jock!

[Miss Collins slaps Chris; the other students gasp]

CHRIS
I can't believe you,
You, you bitch!
You fucking bitch!
It's not right!

MISS COLLINS
Believe it.
Just keep on going and I'll knock you down!
I can and I will,
In front of your friends,
And you'll be crying
Just like Carrie White!

CHRIS
She can't get away with this if we all stick together! Norma? Debbie? Sue?

NORMA
We'll never break the chain,
We're all birds of a feather.

SUE
Shut up, Chris, just shut up!

DEBBIE
Birds of a feather? Ewww! Bad rhyme!

CHRIS
This isn't over!
This isn't over, no it's not!
This isn't over by a long shot!

MISS COLLINS
You tryin' to out-sing me, Hargensen?
You're out of the prom!

CARRIE
Tele-kin-esis: Thought to be the ability to move or change objects by force of the mind.


DO IT FOR ME

SUE
Listen to me, Tommy,
Believe me when I say,
Oh, Tommy, can you hear me?
Please don't turn away.

I'm asking you this favor,
And I know that it's a lot,
But I want to give her something,
And Tommy Ross, you're the best I got.

Do it for Carrie,
She deserves this and much more.
I need you beside me
Cuz I'm settling a score.
You've got to close your eyes and trust me, baby,
Listen to my plea.
Do it for us, do it for love, do it for me.

CHRIS
Listen, Billy, you gotta help me make it right.
Come on, Billy, I really hate Carrie White!
Retribution...

BILLY
Huh?

CHRIS
That girl's gonna pay!

BILLY
Oh!

CHRIS
I'll show them all to mess with me,
They'll learn to stay out of my way!

Do it for Carrie!
She deserves this and much more!
I need you beside me,
Cuz I'm settling a score!
You've got to close your eyes and trust me, baby,
Listen to my plea.
Do it for us, do it for love, do it for me.

SUE
Do it for Carrie.

CHRIS
She deserves this and much more!

SUE
I need you beside me...

CHRIS
Cuz we're settling a score!

SUE & CHRIS
You've got to close your eyes and trust me, baby,
Listen to my plea.
Do it for us, do it for love, do it for me.
Do it for us, do it for love, do it for me.

TOMMY & BILLY
Okay.


YOU'RE NOT THAT UGLY

MISS COLLINS
You're not that ugly,
Things could be worse.
You could have flippers,
Eyelids in reverse.

You're not so bad...
Compared to some.
You could have lobster-claws
Instead of thumbs.

There are a potpourri of maladies, deformities,
So Carrie, can't you see?
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
You're not that ugly!

CARRIE
I never thought
That I could be
Like all the other girls,
But now I see
That maybe somehow
I have a chance.
It's just one date,
A simple dance.

I'll fix my hair,
Cuz it's uneven,
A satin gown
Like Stella Stevens!
My head says stop!
My hearts says go!
Is this for real?
How will I know?

MAN
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the Queen of Bates High: Miss Carrie White!

GIRL
Way to go, Carrie!

BOY #1
What are you doing Friday night?

BOY #2
You're so beautiful!

BOY #3
Call me!

GIRL #2
Will you be my best friend?

GIRL #3
No, Carrie, be my best friend!

GIRL #1
Everybody thinks you're the prettiest girl in school, Carrie!

GIRL #2
We worship you!

CHORUS
We think you're beautiful!
Beautiful!
Beautiful!
So beautiful!

MISS COLLINS
You could be pretty,
I think there's hope.
A touch of lipstick
And a lot of soap.

CARRIE
But there's my Mama....

MISS COLLINS
You're not so bad...

CARRIE
She won't approve. To heck with her!

MISS COLLINS
Despite it all...

CARRIE
I wanna groove. Alright, Miss Collins.

MISS COLLINS
A little makeup....

CARRIE
Maybe I'll try. I'll spread my wings -- I'll learn to fly!

MISS COLLINS
And a miracle!

You're a magnificent epiphany!
Okay, I'm getting syrupy,
But Carrie, can't you see?
You're not that ug-a

CARRIE
I'm not that ug-a
I'm not that ug-a-ly!

MISS COLLINS
You're not that ug-a-ly!


THINGS ARE GONNA BE DIFFERENT

MARGARET
Carrietta, it's time to endure another day. Now don't dawdle. I packed your lunch: peanut butter and jelly with bitter herbs to remind you of your sinful ways. Hurry up or you'll miss our morning prayers!

CARRIE
I wake up this morning, I'm not afraid,
The birds seem to sing me a serenade,
And Mama's words evaporate like clouds.

I look in the mirror, what do I see?
A girl I don't know lookin' back at me.
It's Carrie White, I'm risin' 'bove the crowd!

Things are gonna be different, Mama,
Things are gonna be different.
I can feel the winds of change blowin' my way!
Hey, hey!

MARGARET
What are you going on about, Carrie?

CARRIE
Things are gonna be different, Mama,
Things are gonna be different,
So please step aside
The difference starts today!

MARGARET
You know you can't go to school without breakfast. You're too thin as it is now. Oh, I don't know why you bother being cheerful, Carrie. You have no friends. Just me and the Lord.

SUE
Today seemed to start like a normal day,
But I know it's not gonna be that way.
My consciousness has taken a new turn.

So long to the Sue Snell of yesterday,
Hello to the Sue that is not ashamed
To look inside myself and try to learn.

Things are gonna be different, Tommy,
Things are gonna be different.
Wipe away the fallen tears of yesterday.
Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Things are gonna be different, Tommy,
Things are gonna be different,
Cuz the Sue Snell of the past has gone away!

GIRL #1
I got accepted

GIRL #2
I got rejected

GIRL #3
Not sure just what I'll do

GIRL #1
Deep down inside, I'm terrified

GIRL #2
My world revolves around high school

SUE
Things are gonna be different, baby,
Things are gonna be different.
Never looked ahead before, but now I see.

Things are gonna be different, Tommy,
Things are gonna be different,
And the difference that occurs depends on me,
And the difference that occurs

GIRL #1
And the difference that occurs

BOYS
And the difference that occurs depends on

TOMMY
Me!



WHAM! BAM! BEAUTIFUL!

CHRIS
It's very simple,
Let me explain.
He's got the brawn,
I've got the brains.

They think they've won
But they have not.
This shit isn't over,
It's not over by a long-shot!

Wham! Bam! Beautiful!
Hit the piggy in the skull!
Head back, take a whack
Teenage queens are fightin' back!
Slip-slash, make a gash,
Then we're gonna make a splash!
Pull the rope, straight away,
Watch the fun
And then she'll learn to stay
Out of our way!
She's gonna stay
Out of our way!

People, what we have here is a situation that is bigger than it appears to be. It's bigger than Carrie White, bigger than the prom, and yes, brothers and sisters, it is even bigger than me. For this isn't about simple revenge, my fellow bitches, this is about preserving the natural order of things. We can't have the Carrie Whites of the world going to the prom with the Tommy Rosses of the world. It's just not right. For if God had meant that to happen, he would have given Carrie White a kick-ass bod, and rockin' hair that layers easily and dances in the wind. But does she have that?

EVERYONE
No!

CHRIS
And that's why we have to send a message to all the pigs out there like Carrie White that might be thinking they have a chance to be us.

EVERYONE
Yes!

CHRIS
Are you ready to rock?

EVERYONE
Yes!

CHRIS
Are you ready to roll?

EVERYONE
Yes!

CHRIS
Are you gonna take their shit?
Put your head in the hole?

EVERYONE
No!

CHRIS
'Cause only teamwork,
Will make the scheme work,
So pick up the hammer
And join my clamor!

EVERYONE
Wham! Bam! Beautiful!
Hit the piggy in the skull!
Head back, take a whack,
Teenage queens are fightin' back!
Slip-slash, make a gash,
Then we're gonna make a splash!
Pull the rope, straight away,
Watch the fun
And then she'll learn to stay
Out of our way!
She's gonna stay
Out of our way!

CHRIS
Yes, they're gonna stay
Out of our way!

EVERYONE
Wham! Bam! Beautiful!



IT'S THE PROM

BOYS
I woke up this morning with a buzzin' in my head
I took care of business and I jumped right out of bed
We're gonna stay out 'til the break of dawn
We'll party 'til all the liquor's gone
I'll worry 'bout my future when I'm cold and dead
Tonight's the night they say we'll never forget
I got my powder-blue tux and my brother's Corvette

CHORUS
It's the prom!
It's the prom!
It's the high point in our life
That's full of dead-end jobs and strife
It's the prom!

GIRLS
It cost fifty-five dollars for my frosted, feathered hair
My daddy had a fit but I don't even care
My diaphragm is fitted with my spermicidal gel
Loads (??) baby soft perfume to hide the marijuana smell
I feel just like a princess in a castle in the air
Tonight's the night they say we'll never forget
I'm gonna do the things my Mama told me I'd regret

CHORUS
It's the prom!
It's the prom!
In our off-the-shoulder gowns
We'll drink a lot and stumble 'round
It's the prom!
It's the prom!
It's the prom!

CHRIS
Hurry up, Billy
Before it's too late
Just tie the knot, you stupid shit,
And when it's done, it's gonna be great

BILLY
Keep your little titties on
I'll let you pull the rope

CHRIS
I plan to...
You fucking dope!

CHORUS
It's the prom!
It's the prom!
In our polyester vest
This night is different from the rest
It's the prom!
And we'll hold on to our dates
Unless a better one awaits
It's the prom!

CARRIE
Tonight, maybe things will be different
I'll show them that I am normal too
And when I walk into that formal

MARGARET
They're all gonna laugh at you!

CHORUS
It's the prom!
It's the prom!

GIRLS
And our hair looks just like Farrah
With our Mabelline mascara

BOYS
With our hormones in a rage
Trapped inside this teenage cage

GIRLS
Boys with pants that fit so tight
You see it hanging left or right

BOYS
And we'll drive down to a bar
Cuz we've got our parents car

CHORUS
All a chance to strut our stuff
Cuz the real world is rough
And when high school is through
We will act like we're still cool
And one day we'll look around
And we'll probably break down
I'm a walking, ticking bomb
But I'm going, going, going to the prom
It's the prom!
It's the prom!



OUR FUTURE STARTS TODAY

CANDY
Here we are
In a place we never thought we'd be today
One, two, three...
Hand in hand
Looking back, those memories seem far away

Yesterday becomes tomorrow
Technically it's called today
Time is precious, no more sorrow
Life's a beautiful bouquet
Nevermind the morning after
Let's make rainbows every day
Yes, our journey's just beginning
And our dreams will light the way

Cuz we're here
Right now
And our future
Starts today

Life is super!
Life is great
Like a golden unicorn!
While the memories
To create...
Mmmm-hmph!

MAN
Thank you, Candy Bird. Wasn't that lovely?

CANDY
Uh, I wasn't finished.

MAN
It's a time issue.



I'M CARRIE (REPRISE 2)

CARRIE
Yes, I live in a high school world
That is run by the super-foxy girls.
Can't believe this is real, cuz it feels so surreal;
I'm the queen of the high school world

I'm Carrie,
Just an ordinary girl.
And maybe
There's some hope in my world.
Can't believe that this has happened,
I'm floating on a cloud.
From now on, things will be different,
I'll hold my head up proud

I'm Carrie,
Just an ordinary girl.
Finally
I fit into their world.


THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING

CARRIE
This can't be happening.
Mother was right.
I was a fool!
I've been had!
They,
They never liked me,
No, not one of them.
And now I'm really mad!


TELEKINETIC PROM

CARRIE
What's your hurry?
The party's just begun!
You've had your little joke,
And now it's my turn for fun!

As your reigning prom queen,
I promise to serve.
First order of business:
Give you what you deserve!

Telekinetic prom,
Is it what you expected?
Telekinetic prom,
And I'm the queen you all elected!
Telekinetic prom,
It's really outta sight!
Telekinetic prom,
Gonna dance away the night!

Super-foxy girls,
Full of hate and lies.
Hope there's a hairdryer in Hell,
Cuz you're all gonna die!

MISS COLLINS
Carrie! No!

CARRIE
Do you even care?
Do you even care about how others feel?
Let me take you where,
Let me take you where the wicked bow and kneel!

Telekinetic prom,
Is it what you expected?
Telekinetic prom,
And I'm the queen you all elected!
Telekinetic prom,
It's really out of sight!
Telekinetic prom,
Gonna dance away the night.
Telekinetic prom,
I've got a brand new gown.
Telekinetic prom,
Gonna burn it all down!


I TOLD YOU SO

MARGARET
I
Told
You
So

I told you so!
I pleaded with you not to go,
I told you so!


SIN NEVER DIES

MARGARET
From the dawning of time,
There are lessons we all know,
God gave Moses these rules from the sky.

Though we try to be pure
In the life we endure,
You can see, Carrie, sin never dies.

Sin never dies,
That's the way of the world,
It's a terrible curse upon man.

Sin never dies,
And it's in you, my girl,
In us all since time began.

CARRIE
I never should have disobeyed you, Mama. From now on, I'll do everything your way. I promise!

MARGARET
Hush, Carrie, it's going to be alright. Mother knows exactly what to do. I promise!

Sin never dies,
Like a serpent in wait,
And its poison escapes very few.

Darling, don't cry,
For his kingdom awaits.
Rest assured that I love you.
God, forgive me for what I do!


AND SO IT GOES

MRS. SNELL
Did you ever spit on an ant just to watch it drown?
Or take someone's umbrella from the lost and found?
You think things like that make no difference,
But you can't escape the consequence.
The ant had a family, the umbrella belonged
To a woman whose son died in Vietnam.
He gave it to her right before he'd gone!

CHORUS
So it goes
And it goes
And it goes
And it go, go, goes
So it goes
And it goes
And it goes
And it go, go, goes

SUE
Every little thing you do,
Everything that you say,
Every motive, every glance
Affects someone in some way.

CARRIE
You might think that it's nothing but an innocent joke

SUE
But soon all your best friends are up in smoke!

MARGARET
And months after it's happened, it's still living in your head,
Reliving all the horror every time you go to bed.

CHORUS
So it goes
And it goes
And it goes
And it go, go, goes
So it goes
And it goes
And it goes
And it go, go, goes

GIRLS
The nightmare continues
Wherever you go;
It hides in a place
Deep inside of your soul.

MR SHIPLACE
We offer support, but it's like your mom said,
It's kind of your fault that we're

CHORUS
All dancing dead!

So it goes
And it goes
And it goes
And it go, go, goes
So it goes
And it goes
And it goes
And it go, go, goes

I should have

MISS COLLINS
Listened to what Sue had to say at the prom!

CHORUS
I should have

MARGARET
Tried to be a better mom!

CHORUS
I should have

BILLY
Thought with my brain instead of what's in my pants!

CHORUS
I should have

CHRIS
Killed that stupid bitch and went to the dance!

CHORUS
So it goes
And it goes
And it goes
And it go, go, goes!
So it goes
And it goes
And it goes
And it go, go, goes!

So next time you treat someone like an asshole,
Remember the saying, 'You reap what you sow.'
We hope that you've heard what we've tried to denote,
These three little words that we've shoved down your throat!

So it goes
And it goes
And it goes
And it go, go, goes
So it goes
And it goes
And it goes
And it go, go, goes
So it goes!

SCARRIE - the Musical

SCARRIE - The Musical is an unauthorized musical parodage (parody/homage) of the original film, which appeared on the stage to wide acclaim in two different productions in Illinois. This musical, by David Cerda, "features a rockin' 70s influenced score, and lots of pigs blood."

About the Production

Cast/Crew

Soundtrack

Lyrics

Press Release

Reviews